Unsupported Speculation

I first learned about Biltong, which is a kind of dried and preserved meat in South Africa, from a video on YouTube by a chef named Ben Kruger. In the video, he shows how to make a biltong drying box that uses a computer fan to circulate air inside the box, and the drying is done over the course of about a three to four days through the simple whisking of the humidity out of the drying meat via the circulating air.

I’ve made a total of three drying boxes, affectionately called ‘Biltonganators’, and I’ve just finished constructing my Biltonganator Mark III with another batch of beef right at the beginning of their drying process.

To make one, what you need is a large box with a lid, a computer cooling fan, straight dowels, screen, and paperclips. What you will make is a box that uses the dowels on the inside as hanging bars for the strips of meat you’ll dry in it. You drill holes into both sides of the box at the top, and push the dowels through to make the hanging bars. The paperclips are for making simple hooks for hanging pieces of meat individually from the dowels. The computer fan is installed onto the box so that it draws air in, and you make a hole elsewhere in the box where air and moisture from the drying meat exits the box. You also screen both the computer fan and the air exit hole to keep bugs out of the box.

My first drying box was made out of one of those commonly found clear plastic storage boxes. Making that one, I had a bit of a snafu when the drill I made the holes for the dowels with broke the plastic of the box because it was too brittle. This was fixed with tape, and the biltong I made with it was perfect, but nevertheless the slightly broken box was a small letdown, and it looked ugly too.

The second drying box was made in 2022 with a clear rectangular blanket storage bag, like the type middle class homes with their acts together store blankets out of season inside. I was only dimly aware such things existed, and I’d known one woman to use a wet and dry vac to suck all the air out of a bag with blankets and clothing inside to save space in the closet. The thing literally shriveled to the thickness of a Ritz cracker, and was a perfect demonstration of the arcane dark arts of Level 9000 home economics space-saving.

Anyway, I used a kitchen cooling stand, like what loaves of bread or cookies are placed on to cool after being in the oven, as the hanging rack for the strips of drying meat. The computer fan blew inward, which inflated the blanket storage bag like a rectangular balloon, and the exit hole released excess air. The screen over the exit hole was secured with just duct tape. That was another good batch of biltong.

This year however, I’ve made my first disposable Biltonganator, which is my Mark III. I recently bought a batch of Banker’s Boxes, which are cardboard file folder boxes, because I wanted to organize various paperwork, but I don’t have the room for a nice metal filing cabinet. So I bought Banker’s Boxes instead. They arrive flat in the mail, but like pizza boxes, you just have to fold up the lid and box portions and voila, you have a single file folder box.

Several weeks ago I had an epiphany that I could use one of my Banker’s Boxes as a new Biltonganator. Banker’s Boxes don’t cost very much. Plus, I’m currently only using one for personal records, and you can’t buy them in numbers smaller than ten or something. So I just had all these Banker’s Boxes not serving any purpose, so why not fold one up into shape and make a new Biltonganator? And, if it gets dirty from the drying process, I can just throw it away afterwards!

So, a Biltonganator was made. Since Banker’s Boxes are only made of cardboard, then I just needed to carefully cut a hole for the computer fan. The boxes also have those finger holes for carrying the box, so those were ready-made air exit holes. I’m using a stackable, two level, cookie cooling rack to just lay the meat on for drying, because I didn’t want to fuss around with buying a crapload of paperclips and dowels, and all that nonsense. I screened both the computer fan and the finger holes, and that was that.

My batch of biltong will be in there for about four days, and after that I’ll just put them in a gallon ziplock bag and into the refrigerator to snack on for a while.