Unsupported Speculation

I was thinking to myself about something I saw on the internet. Someone was asking for advice on how to keep the large, greedy birds from eating all the birdfeed, which prevents all the small, pretty, well behaved birds from eating themselves.

I’m about to put in some bird feeders myself, and while I was thinking about this, I was reminded of these outrageous youtube videos I sometimes put on my screen for my cat, where someone sets a bird banquet out, and then records the lunacy that follows as literally all of the acting seconds from Disney’s Bambi arrive in quick succession to sample from the delights. Cats LOVE this, and I’ve had put my screen back upright several times after my cat attempted to superman straight through the screen.

Anyway, I was curious about the problem of attempting to filter out starlings and grackles and all the other usual suspects, and watched another youtube video about various birdfeeder options designed to thwart large birds, and squirrels, from destroying the tranquil scene we all want to enjoy.

I’m sympathetic to this problem, because many years ago, I hung a birdfeeder in my window, and then had to watch the underside of a very loud and very male squirrel for years, as he ate, and ate, and ate, and ate… To explain, my window had a screen on the outside, and this industrious squirrel would scramble over this like a spider in the projector lens, displaying his evolutionary imperatives the entire eating session.

The HORROR…

… … …

Where was I? Lost me for a second. Sorry about that, I must have had the thousand yard stare. Uhhh… oh yeah.

But what I was thinking is that the problem has two factors among the people that don’t like the ruder birds from eating from the feeder. One is the price of the feed. The other is that they don’t understand that as the animal gets bigger, so do the food requirements.

The reason we don’t like starlings and grackles and squirrels from eating from the feeders is because they are bigger animals, and thus bigger eaters. This means that we end up watching one animal sit there the entire time eating all the g-damned feed, and keeping all the other animals from eating.

But, they can’t help it. Whenever this happens, it’s because you just provided them with the single easiest way that they can meet all their food requirements for that day.

Now consider this: What if you set a bird watching time for yourself? We feed the birds to be able to watch them eat in one place, don’t we? So what if instead of putting a feeder out that hangs there for a couple weeks continuously, which allows birds to show up whenever they want to, and translates to you sitting waiting for birds that probably won’t, we set a banquet out at a set time of the day, and then watch the ensuing pandemonium with your favorite pair of binoculars?

If the platform you put a pile of bird food on is large enough, then as youtube’s cat videos have proven thoroughly enough for me, even if a large bird or squirrel shows up, then other birds can still eat from another part of the platform, the larger creature will eventually eat its fill and leave, and you get to watch the birder’s equivalent of a Michael Bay movie.